


He's Gone Away

by storybored



Series: A Mind at Peace with All Below [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Adrian is just Eddie but out and more angry, Angst, Child Murder, Conversion therapy is mentioned, Don is trying not to fall apart, Everybody Lives, Flashbacks, French, Gay culture is mutually pining over possible dead men, Gen, Hate Crime, Henry Bowers was "pennywise", Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Inhalers are symbols of love, Kinda, M/M, Might be triggering?, Multi, No one likes Bills books, Patty Uris is going to fight god himself and win, Québec, Richie and DOn are homies, Sometimes date night is being spiteful of two celebaties from Derry cause they just aren't that good, eventually, future reddie - Freeform, kissing bridge, maturin, soft, the falcon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2020-11-27 12:00:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20947988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storybored/pseuds/storybored
Summary: Sometimes being the Losers Club wasn't enough, sometimes there needed to be someone who's moves Pennywise hadn't encountered yet, sometimes the person who just lost everything is the best bet they had.





	1. When We Two Parted

**Author's Note:**

> Why do you get attached to assholes with less then five minutes of screen time? Because I'm emotionally repressed and like to be sad.

Don staggered home, head swimming in disbelief, he was gone just gone. No more soft voice mocking his Maine hick accent, no more flirting in the early morning, whispering to each other. No more sweet singing as he cooked. Just gone, torn up by that thing, the  _ town _ . If he was faster, he could’ve saved him. If he was stronger he could’ve protected him, protected him from the next time his mouth would get him in trouble. He felt mentally scrambled as he staggered away from the scene, the cops were sending him home while they tried to look for Adrian’s body.  _ Oh God, Adrian _ . Don slammed into a guy approaching the scene, he was sticking to the edges of the crime scene looking for something or someone. Don fell to his knees vaguely aware of the man helping him up, he looked familiar, maybe someone Adrian met during his research into the town or someone his parents knew, his brain wasn’t connecting to anything outside Adrian going over the edge while he wasn’t breathing, and the clown tearing into him,”Hey man, are you okay?”

Don shook his head but continued forwarded bolting away from the bridge, it felt like he was betraying Adrian, betraying them, the further he walked away. If he tried harder, didn’t let Adrian pull him back, he’d still be alive. His ears were ringing. Adrian’s screams and the brittle sharp sound of his ribs cracking roaring through his ears, and that clown,  _ it was _ a clown, white and red, with glowing eyes, and Don just felt as if it was the town, this stupid fucking god forsaken town. He should’ve tried harder, should've pushed harder to leave, move somewhere else where Adrian could still breathe, while he could’ve breathed. He should’ve pushed him far before tonight, Derry was like a pot boiling over, washing away and burning whatever was in its path, no wonder this fucking town constantly flooded.

Everything in his still rattling mind was telling him to leave Derry, leave, run as far as his savings could take him. To forget about everything that happened in this shithole, this stupid shithole which destroyed everything he loved. The sweetest, most passionate man he ever had the pleasure of loving, and he had the luck to be loved by him back. But his heart, his heart screamed for him to stay, to stay until he got Adrian back, to stay until he got his lovely boy away from the monsters that roamed Derry Township. To bury him somewhere proper, somewhere he would’ve loved, somewhere he was welcome. He wouldn’t leave Adrian here, condemning his fate to wander unfamiliar streets forever. They were leaving Derry together or not at all. Don would make sure of it.

He was slowly regretting not taking the cops up on their offer to get him home, he just didn’t want to answer questions. He should hail a cab or something, but even that requires more effort than just continuing to put one foot in front of the other, just keep marching forward. Just get to the apartment and crawl under the covers and maybe it’ll be a bad dream, maybe he fell asleep at work, and his shine or whatever his Aunt called it was just causing his dream to spiral. That happened a lot when he was anxious or stressed about work, there’d be that uptick in deja-vu inducing bad dreams. Maybe if he went to bed he’d wake up and it’d be his birthday and Adrian would be pretending to be asleep while trying not to laugh at his awful bedhead. Maybe they would kiss, a soft loving smile shared between them before trying to work up the nerve to start their day and not beg off work so they could lounge and love each other. Maybe Adrian would pretend to pressure Don into getting a tattoo,  _ finally _ , and Don might relent before changing his mind moments later. 

Don reached his apartment and fumbled for his keys, his hands were shaking and his vision was blurring, he wrenched the door open wiping his eyes hissing as he accidentally brushed by his nose, he was lucky it wasn’t broken, or that’s when the paramedic’s kept telling him. Pastel and Blanche bounded up to him as he toed off his shoes and tossed his jacket onto the table, he just wanted to crawl into bed. If he was lucky he’d crawl into bed and then wake up to his beautiful hot mess, if he was lucky it’d be the 6th, if he was lucky enough to get Adrian, he was lucky enough to get a do-over. 

The cats tucked themselves onto Adrian’s side of the bed as Don changed into flannels and a Henley, crawling into bed and pulling the covers over his head. He just wanted this bad dream to be over. He wanted Adrian, he would do anything for Adrian’s safety, for his life. Even trade his own. What Don wouldn’t give just to hold Adrian in his arms for five more minutes, to hear deep healthy breathing, not the panicking chest tightening breaths that Don was familiar with when Adrian was having an asthma attack. Breathes that Don dreaded to hear, he couldn’t count how many nights after an asthma attack or a day that Adrian spent inside while still having to steadily puff on his inhaler, Don would just lay in bed staring at him, just making sure he was still breathing. Just making sure he continued to look peaceful and alive. Luckily Adrian was a heavy sleeper and wasn’t woken up by Don’s late night tendencies, or if he was, he never said anything, never did anything outside brewing Don a strong cup of coffee, and would just begin to write his book or get ready to go outside to explore the town and write articles for some regional magazine. It was his favorite thing about him, the fact that he never seemed to be fazed by anything. That homophobes weren’t a fear of his, they were a challenge. Something for him to prove his fearlessness wasn’t just a front, fear was a challenge and Don was pretty sure Adrian wasn’t afraid of anything. Not like Don was, not the way Don was discovering new fears everyday the sun rose and set on him and Adrian, and his most crippling fear was coming true (maybe it’s a bad dream, he’ll wake up panting and Adrian will shush him and they’ll just go back to sleep). Adrian was gone, and nothing can bring the dead back.

* * *

_ Don felt cramped, and smelled something rotting and wet, where was he? Where was Adrian? He couldn’t see anything, but he knew he wasn’t alone, there were other people stumbling around in the distance. Don fumbled for his lighter, flicking it on. Well that explains the smell, he was in the sewer system, one of the more abandoned parts probably judging by the amount of cracks in the cement pipes. He jolted at the people appearing in the distance, he wasn’t in danger with them, he was supposed to trust them. Don looked to the other end of the tunnel, seeing a little kid in a yellow raincoat, and an awful sense filled him. Whatever  _ It _ was it wasn’t human, at least not anymore, he backed up towards the group, making a soft sound as he knocked into the man from the crime scene, this was a weird dream even by his standards. He heard screams echoing from the distance, a familiar scream that haunt him the rest of his life,”DON!” _

_ Adrian, why was he down here?”ADRIAN?!” _ _   
_ _ “Don, help me! PLEASE!” _

_ Don surged forward feeling hands grab him, trying to pull him away from the child in the raincoat, away from where Adrian was in trouble. He struggled against the grip they had on him, a voice whispering in his ear,”It’s not real, it’s not real. It’s not him, it’s a trick.” _

_ But what they didn’t understand was, it was real, he was real, Adrian’s fear was palpable. Don could feel Adrian’s fear in his soul, in his bones, a bone bending break. He needed to save him this time needed to protect him what he couldn’t do before. He escaped the people gripping him by shedding his jacket and rushing past the child in yellow raincoat who whispered something cutting through Adrian’s screams and pleads for help,”Time to float, Donnie boy.” _

_ Don ran towards the sound of Adrian’s voice,”Adrian! I’m coming! Hold on!”  _

_ Adrian screamed again,”Don! Please!” _

_ Don continued to run towards Adrian and the faint sounds of splashing, vaguely aware that he felt like something was chasing him, he couldn’t leave him down there if there was even a chance of bringing Adrian back alive, DOn would have to take it, no matter how dangerous it was, no matter how upset Adrian would get at putting himself into danger,”Adrian hold on. I’m-” _

_ Here. Don looked around the room where the sewer pipe? Deposited him, a silo of some sorts probably out in the barrens based off of the size and the fact that it reached up above ground, Don squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light and he looked up, immediately becoming nauseous, people floating above the mound of trash in the center of the room, he heard frantic splashing,”Help!” _

_ Adrian. Adrian was here still,”Adrian, I’m coming, Adds.”  _

_ Don dived into the water swimming to wear the splashing was coming from, he quickly grabbed Adrian pulling him toward the center of the trash island, he let Adrian cling to him as he tried to breath, cling to Don’s arm as Don used his free hand to search for Adrian’s spare inhaler, he always had it on him, just in case. Adrian was coughing as he tried to force air into his lungs, and Don pulled him close, helping him operate his aspirator, they were both panicking that was his worst attack in a long time. Adrian coughed pumping his inhaler a few more times before slumping against his boyfriend,”Donnie.” _

_ Don buried his head against Adrian’s neck,”Adds, I’m sorry.” _ _   
_ _ Adrian sighed, his voice airy and breathless,”You’re apologizing even though it’s my big mouth that got us into trouble. You’re insane. C’mere.” _

_ Don ignored the tangling not in his stomach, that sixth sense of his telling him not to trust Adrian, sweet Adrian who he failed. The sense that was screaming at him that this wasn’t his Adrian. Don leaned in to kiss Adrian when he suddenly recoiled a sharp voice growling in his ear, breath far to hot, too moist to be human,”Kiss me, lover boy.” _

_ Don pulled away, suddenly. His eyes shot open and he stared into the eyes of the creature, the clown, the thing that murdered Adrian. NO DAMN IT! He couldn’t lose him. _ __   
Don woke up a scream dying in his throat and his phone ringing, he barely glanced at the time before answering the phone trying to clear his throat and act like he didn’t just wake up or have two god awful dreams in a row,”Hello?”   
“Donald! Are you alright?”   
Don sat up, glancing at the empty spot on his bed and hesitantly touched it his eyes beginning to water as his mind recalled the events of the night before,”Aunt Mary, what day is it?” 

Mary hummed,”Sweet boy, it’s the 7th. I got a sense that you were in danger last night and tried to call you. Kept getting your voicemail. And then just now, your shine called out to me. Are you alright?” 

Don choked on his tears,  _ Adrian was gone _ , he should've known better, should’ve fought harder,”I’m fine, but Adrian-”

“He’s missing yes?” Mary set something down,”I can’t feel him anymore, like Crystal used to be.”   
“He’s dead.” Don sat up ignoring the way his stomach flipped,”Someone, Something tore into him. We got-we got jumped and Adrian was thrown off the Main Street Bridge and he’s dead.  _ He’s gone. _ ”

Mary ignored her nephew’s frantic rambling, her voice taking on a familiar dreamy quality”I don’t see it, I think he’s missing. I should get off the line, it will be busy soon. You’ll need their help just as much as they need yours.”

Don swore as the phone line clicked off,”Mary?”

He made a pained sound as he thought about the events from the night before that clown thing biting into Adrian’s chest breaking his ribs and ripping out his heart. He could see Adrian’s expression become confused and afraid when he saw what was holding him up, what rescued him. He couldn’t breathe, Don fumbled for Adrian’s inhaler, gripping it in his hand and taking deep breaths, it was a shitty way to calm himself but that all he had left. He should’ve tried to protect him better, but he wasn’t enough. 

His phone rang again, jolting him out of his spiralling thoughts, he winced at how wrecked and hoarse his voice sounded,”Yeah?”   
“Hi is this uh, Don… Hagarty?” The voice sounded hesitant and worried, and that tone automatically set him on edge. 

“Depends who’s asking.”

“My name is Mike Hanlon, and I’m writing a book on the history of Derry, all of it. I was wondering if you could help?”   
Don cleared his throat clutching his phone tightly,”Why?”   
“I have a few friends who are police officers who clued me in on what you saw last night… I think you noticed something dangerous. This may sound insane but did you see a-”   
“Clown?” Don said trying to ignore the sour taste in his mouth, it tasted like battery acid. He wanted to be wrong, let him be crazy.

“So you saw it.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement with resignation trickling into Mike’s voice,”Would you mind coming to the library in about an hour so I could show you what I’ve found?”

Don sighed, his stomach wasn’t tight, he wasn’t in danger. He replayed his aunt’s words in his head, _ ’I don’t see it, I think he’s missing. I should get off the line, it will be busy soon. You’ll need their help just as much as they need yours.’. _ He doesn’t know what took him over as he spoke again with tight chested, chilling reassurance.  _ ” _ Yeah, I have a feeling that you’ll need my help.”

“Alright, thank you.” Mike seemed to be a little more reassured,” I’ll see you soon.”

Don hung up the phone, resting his head in his hands,  _ What have I gotten myself into? _ Don stood up grunting as he rubbed his face suddenly aware of the bruises on his face again, as Pastel and Blanche began to scream at him for taking longer than the allotted ten minutes to feed them. He fed his cats looking at the wrapped gifts on the kitchen table next to a vase of purple hydrangeas,”What were you planning, Addie?”

_ Adrian sat at his desk fiddling with the drawer, trying to quickly shove it close when he saw Don enter the apartment,”Happy birthday!” _

_ Don pulled Adrian close and kissed him,”Aw thanks, so the fair?” _ _   
_ _ “The fair, the only downside to Derry is nothing fun happens after eight.” Adrian said pouting slightly. _

_ “I wouldn’t say  _ nothing _ fun happens after eight.” Don said between kisses. _

_ Adrian pulled away laughing slightly,”Thinking highly of yourself aren’t you, Hagarty?” _

_ Don shook his head,”Nah, I’ve heard things.” _

_ “What things?” _ __   
_ “You, mainly. Or were the last few nights a figment of my overactive imagination?” Don couldn’t help but sound a little smug, he leaned in for another kiss, ”Did I help cure your writer’s block? Or shall we try again?” _ _   
_ __ “Later, after your presents.” Adrian said pulling him away towards the door,”Come on, I’ve never been to a fair before.”

_ “You’ve never been to one before?” Don raised an eyebrow, Adrian liked to talk a lot, except about his life after his dad died,”And it’s technically a carnival. Exactly like a fair, more clowns.” _

_ “No, you really think Helene would’ve taken me?” Adrian shrugged, scuffing his shoe on the wooden floor,”It was always too cold for me to go out when they were happening apparently, I was fine but… what the hell do I know right?” _

_ Don shrugged squeezing his hand,”Come on, it’ll be fun. We’ll do gifts after. I get you one of those cheap stuffed animals and you’ll have to marry me.” _

_ Adrian raised an eyebrow, his voice dripping with sarcasm,”Really, I’ll  _ have  _ to marry you, the horror.” _

_ “Quite horrible indeed.” Don pulled Adrian to the door,”Come, my love. We’ll make a date of it.” _

Don looked at his presents, hesitant to open them to even hold them. It was all he had left, he should just open them right? What harm could it do? A lot of harm. He wasn’t ready, he didn’t think he’d ever be ready. Don put his gifts on Adrian’s desk, it felt like the news sank in but hadn’t, like his own mind was preventing him from mourning until he completes his objective. But Don’s subconscious wasn’t exactly in the mood to share outside driving to the library right now.

He just needed to shower, he just needed to wash the dried caked blood off his face. He needed to at least pretend to feel composed. He needed an armor. He looked at himself in the mirror, fresh bruises mottled under the blood, he looked like crap, well worse than crap, he looked like shit.

Don tried to roll the stiffness out of his shoulder as he headed to the bathroom. He just needed to clean up, he turned the water to scalding hot and shed his clothes stepping into the shower. He scrubbed the blood off his face trying his best to clean himself up, he didn’t want to think, didn’t want to remember he just wanted to be clean and better. He washed his hair making a face at the stiff texture of his hair, he stood under the water scrubbing at his skin until it was raw, until the water ran clear. He rested his head against the shower wall questioning whether he should just let the water boil and wash him away or if he should actually get out, go help that Mike guy. Adrian wouldn’t want to leave people hanging, and Don wasn’t an angry guy, not angry like Adrian, who had a deep simmering anger that extended from his childhood, an angry from not being enough, but he wanted revenge, he wanted to make sure nothing like  _ that _ would ever happen again. He wanted to avenge him.

Don dried his hair and quickly got dressed before he headed to the library, almost like he was on autopilot. Grabbing his phone and Adrian’s extra inhaler, something he got into the habit of carrying ever since they started being serious with each other. It felt weird to be without it, sometimes he’d forget it when he drove to work and couldn’t figure out why he felt wrong the whole day until Adrian would send him a picture and ask him if he forgot something.

Don parked in front of the brick building, trying to work up the courage to go in. If he waited to long he’d lose his nerve, he couldn’t overthink this. Just get out of the car and walk into the building, it’s simple. He can do it. He  _ needs _ to do it. He got out of the car and locked the door, quickly patting his pockets making sure he didn’t forget anything in his car before heading into the library, ignoring the light unpleasant drizzle that started in the five minutes he was parked and panicking.    
Don walked into the library, hands securely tucked into his pockets, the library was unlocked and empty except for the librarian,”Hello?”   
The librarian looked up and smiled at him,”Hi, Don, right? Mike.”

Don offered a hand for Mike to shake staring at him quietly,”...So your book? You want to know what happened to Adrian, right?”

Mike shook his head, a sad expression passing over his face,”No, come on follow me, this has to deal with what you saw last night. The clown.”

Don followed Mike upstairs, his sixth sense whispering to him that Mike was only the first he could trust,” It’s not just a clown, it’s something far worse. It’s the… spirit of the town.”

Mike nodded, pulling out his notebooks and photos of Pennywise,”Is this at all similar to what you saw?”

Don swallowed and nodded, shuffling through some of the photos,”But the eyes… they glowed.”

Mike nodded and marked it down in the notebook,” I’ve been referring to it as  _ It _ and Derry History refers to  _ It _ as Pennywise.”    
Don nodded as he rifled through the notes, this went back centuries, like a cycle. His stomach flipped and his body turned cold, he felt vaguely nauseous the more he read, this explained so goddamn much, why this town was a soulless, separated hellhole,”So what do we do? This- this thing is hundreds of years old. How can we kill it?”

Mike sighed,” There’s a ritual we can do, but my friends who ended the cycle early last time will come back to help. We made a promise.”   
Don raised an eyebrow but sighed,”Last cycle?”

Mike nodded,”As far as I can tell it, starts every 27 years, it feeds for about a year. And usually is awakened by a violent crime, Adrian, this time… and before that Dorsey Corcoran in 1989. It’s a creature of violence and destruction. I know you think I’m crazy-”   
Don held up a hand,”I watched a clown tear into my boyfriend and grew up hearing stories about a sixth sense from a blind “seer” with a pet turtle called Maturin. It’s been a long 48 hours. It’ll take a lot for me to think you’re crazy.”

The rational part of Don’s brain which weirdly sounded like Adrian chimed in, _ ’Or you might be going crazy. Believing the shut-in-librarian to assuage your guilt on letting me die.” _

Don shook his head pressing the heel of his hands against his eyes, he knew either option was insane but this option his aunt pushed him towards, she’d never been wrong before. This option gave him a little bit of hope. A tiny ray of light that he was clinging onto so he wouldn’t fall into a pit of despair and turn into a completely useless wreck. His brain knew that Adrian was dead, there was no way he could’ve survived that, and even if he did… they hadn’t found his body, he had to be dead. But Don’s heart and gut the more irrational parts of him that believed in his aunt’s stories of the shining or whatever she used to call it, argued that Adrian was just missing, lost, wandering somewhere in Derry, somewhere under Derry, had to believe in what it felt and what the librarian was telling him because if he didn’t believe, he didn’t think he’d leave Derry in one piece if at all.


	2. A Group of Losers Walk into a Bar, and Then a Farm

Richie shifted nervously on the landing, this guy, Don, was going through one of the worst things he could imagine He couldn’t imagine losing the man he loved while all he could do was watch, watch helplessly as Pennywise tore him apart. Richie guessed he had a bit of a leg up on Don, he understood what Pennywise was, what it did, and that led to a hint of understanding and almost, acceptance. He grabbed Eddie’s arm to reassure himself that Eddie wasn’t going anywhere.

Eddie looked a little confused before slotting his hand over Richie’s squeezing it. He understood the nervousness, it was one thing to know Bill personally before Georgie’s death… but Bill didn’t witness it, this guy did. He felt helpless and afraid as he couldn’t do anything to protect him,”How’s he taking it?”

Mike shrugged,”I don’t think it’s set in, or that he’s letting himself address it. He seems to try and block out any mention of Adrian.”

BIll had been fairly quiet the entire time, absorbing information,”M-m-maybe he’s hoping Adrian’s just m-missing.”

The Losers fell silent thinking back to the hazy memories of 1989, the strange fervent almost insane belief that Bill had, where if they fought the clown, if they killed Pennywise, Georgie would come back. Sometimes that hope was all you had, and you’d cling to it even if that meant burning out and being destroyed. They needed to fulfill their promise and prevent this from happening to any other families. People shouldn’t have to keep burying family members and have it essentially be forgotten a few weeks later. The ones they lost deserve to be avenged. 

Mike knocked on the door,”He’s a good guy, we can trust him.”

Don opened then door raising an eyebrow at the Losers Club, Ricihie didn’t blame him, a rag tag team of nobodies and celebrities and a librarian, not exactly the A-team but a pretty good B-team considering this time they had a vague idea on what they should do to kill that stupid fucking dimegenius clown. If he was in Don’s shoes he wouldn’t trust them either, and he wouldn’t exactly know if he should be trusted back, but if it was Eddie? If it was Eddie, Richie thinks he’d cling to whatever amount of hope he had. Even if it sounded batshit crazy, sometimes hope was enough to kill a fear demon thing, whatever the fuck it was.

Mike smiled at Don reassuringly,”Hi Don, This is Ben, Bev, Eddie, Billy, Richie and Stanley. Aka, the Losers Club.”

Don blinked in confusion but nodded, holding the door open,”Come in.”

RIchie watched Don pace around the apartment searching for something, he looked wrecked, even discounting the bruises splattered across his face, eyes puffy and cheeks blotchy. He was crying, upset. Richie looked at Mike trying to see if anyone else picked up on Don’s mental state, Ben and Bev seemed more interested in trying to pick up pieces of Don’s personality from the decor and two cats sleeping on a desk which had an opened laptop and notebooks, some opened, some closed but full of papers shoved between the pages. Bill seemed interested in the bookshelf while Stan stood awkwardly shuffling with Eddie. Bill pointed to the bookshelf,”I didn’t know you spoke French?”   
Don paused in his pacing and his face contorted, a heart broken expression crossing his face as he spasmed slightly. He rested a hand against the kitchen island, trying to keep his voice level, instead it came out sounding watery and tight,”They were- They _are _Adrian’s, he’s Québécois. French is his native language, so he prefers to read new books in it.”

Bill pulled out the french copy of The Attic Room,” He was a fan?”

Don shook his head,”His eldest brother bought him that last time he came to Derry, Ade finished within the day and threw it at his brother. Said the ending blew chunks. He wouldn’t stop railing against it for a week. He’s… particular about his literature.”

Bill frowned,”Seems like everyone is. Not everyone gets a happy ending.”

Richie scrunched his face up at Bill’s comment, that wasn’t a good thing to say, especially now. Now when you’re facing a man who watched his boyfriend get the shit kicked out of him, thrown over a bridge and nearly drowns before being munched on by a shitty gigolo. Richie whispered to himself unconsciously,” Beep, Beep, Billy.”   
Eddie shot him a strange look as Don’s eyes flashed,”Well, Addy and I would know about that wouldn’t we?”

Bill shifted uncomfortably,”I didn’t mean any-”   
Don shrugged,”I know what you meant. Look, I need to go to The Falcon for Adrian’s memorial, you’re welcome to come or not, I don’t care.”

Richie shrugged,”Could be fun, could use a beer or two to distract from our impending demise.”

Don’s lips twitched in a half hearted smile, a much needed breath of air. Richie relaxed as Don seemed to grow less tense with Richie’s awkward icebreaker, he wasn’t the only one who was uncomfortable, it was always nice to know you weren’t the only one out of place. Ben leaned over to Beverly whispering,”Falcon?”

Bev leaned towards Ben holding him a little close,”Derry’s local gay bar.”

Ben nodded before going a little pensive,”We wouldn’t want to impose.”

Don shuffled a little awkwardly, suddenly aware of everyone staring at him,”It wouldn’t be an imposition, don’t really feel like going anyways. It’s a bit of an obligation, complicated.”

Stan spoke, his voice soft and reassuring. Stan the Man always knew what to say, always knew how to make people feel better,”Because if the attack didn’t happen, there’d be no meeting. Life wouldn’t be tossed on it’s head.”

Don took a deep breath nodding, fiddling with something in his hands,”Exactly, guess we gotta leave soon right?”

Richie grinned at Don tossing an arm around Eddie,”Lead the way, Captain.”

Eddie squirmed out of Richie’s grip,”Oh, fuck off.”

* * *

Richie had heard about the Falcon before, usually negatively. Stories of men grinding up on each other, having sex in the bathroom, and if he remebered correctly a story about a guy in the basement with a greased up arm. It couldn’t be more different from the image in front of him, men and a few women talking sullenly quietly. An air of mourning and fear hung over the establishment, Richie didn’t know what to do, it was awkward to still be on the outs of a community he belonged to, even though he still preferred the anonymity that larger cities offered, the ability to lie and no one would call you out in the grocery store next time you saw each other. He liked the bar don’t get him wrong, it’s just the birds, why are there birds everywhere.

Richie leaned against the bar surveying the losers, Mike seemed to be in an intense conversation with the old bartender, while Stan seemed to enjoy having a willing verbal hostage to spew his ornithology knowledge. Ben and Bev attached themselves at the hip, quietly engaging in conversation, catching up on the last 27 years, Ben wasn’t the most sociable of the losers so at least he had Bev to talk to. Eddie seemed to be enjoying discussing cars with some of the guys in the bar. Richie searched the bar for Don, this had to be painful and awkward for him, the video of Adrian playing on the shitty tv. He couldn’t imagine being in that position clinging on to the little bit of hope that maybe he was alive, he’d go crazy. Especially at a memorial for said boyfriend, when your friends weren’t really talking to you outside giving condolences or doing much outside giving you pitying looks. It sucked.

Richie found don opposite of him in the bar, sitting in one of the booths eyes staring blindly into the TV, cupping something in his hands. He just looked so sad, Richie grabbed two beers and sat next to Don, that way Don could ignore him if he wanted. Could tune him out without looking out of place,”Beer?”

Don set down what he was holding and took the outstretched drink,”...Thanks.”

Richie swirled his beer awkwardly for a moment,”You okay?”   
Don frowned and shook his head,”No, I’m not.”

Richie took a deep breath,”You wanna talk about it?”

“I can’t unload that on you.” Don’s voice was quiet, he thought if he spoke about what had happened he’d start to cry, and he doesn’t think he’d stop. He began to fiddle with Adrian’s inhaler again, twisting the canister subconsciously.

“Do you want to talk about him?” Richie knew what that fidgeting was, that awkward sense of pining, but it wasn’t really pinning in their relationship. Hell, their apartment was some sort of love letter to each other. He knew the effort that went in to taking care of someone with asthma, the inhaler became just as much of a safety blanket it to him as it was to Eddie, but without the lifesaving steroids,”Was, was that Adrian’s?”

Don nodded,”Yeah, It’s the one he had on him when we-, when they-”

Richie put an arm around Don as he choked on his sobs, Richie squeezed him tight,”Hey, you’ll be alright. I don’t think he’s gone.”

Don swallowed and squeezed the inhaler tight, taking a few deep breaths,”Cause no one in Derry ever really dies, right?”

Richie shrugged,”I mean, depending on your denomination that holds everywhere I think, but no, he seemed a little too stubborn to just die on you.”

Don gave a wet laugh,”Yeah, he’s a pugnacious little bastard.”

Richie smiled at Don reassuringly,”Really?”

Don sighed, trying to steady his heart rate,”He told one of the homophobes that kicked the crap out of us that,’Meg Ryan wants her wig back.’ He’s- he’s not one to be cowed into lying about who he is. 5’7 and about a buck 60, and he’s just…”

“An ass?”

Don laughed,”Oh, so you’ve met him?”

Richie snorted, his eyes flickering over to Eddie,”I know the type.”

Don drank his beer surveying Eddie and Richie quietly, he kept his voice low and whispering,”Do you love him?”

Richie swallowed, looking down at the beer in his hands, he could ignore Don change the subject. Turn it back to Adrian or the clown, he didn’t have to admit it. But did it matter if it was a guy who actually who understood, who got what Derry did to gay men who couldn’t pass for straight in the slightest? Richie could pass for straight as long as he wasn’t addressing who he was attracted to. He jerked his head in a subtle nod,”That obvious?”   
Don shook his head,” Nah, you, you just look at him the same way I look at Ade, I don’t think your friends have noticed.”

“It’s been 27 years, we’ve all changed.” Richie replied quietly.

Don looked at Richie critically,”Have you though? Addie was always one to believe that we are who we are and our experiences shape how our personality is affected. Nature is affected by nurture more than anything.”

Richie pondered what Don said and nodded,”What does that mean for you and Adrian?”

“I’m a farm boy from Derry, Addie and I went hunting for a date-” 

Richie pointed to the slide of Adrian laying on the couch shirtless, sulking and glaring at the camera man,”You took that twink hunting?”

“Yeah? He’s a small town boy too.” Don laughed slightly,”He, he made bread for me on our first day, and that’s when I knew.”

“Knew what?” 

“That I was gonna marry him one day.” Don’s expression saddened slightly,”I wanted… I was going to propose to him as soon as we got out of Derry, but he loved it here. This stupid little shithole town.”

“Was it the town? Or you?”

Don furrowed his brow as he thought back to that night,

His voice was soft,”It was me, he’s just bad at voicing what he wants. He’s great when it comes to being honest with who he is but when it comes to how he’s feeling, what he wants he’s…”

“Stunted? Repressed?” Richie said tearing at the beer bottle lable,”Like any gay man who was raised in a small town?”

“Sort of.” Don thought about how easy it was to rile him up, he’d take it if it was about him but the second it became about Don it was an attack,” He wasn’t going to lie to himself or others to make them comfortable, he had to fight for even the barest hint of recognition from his family and that’s before he came out, so once he did there was no turning back.”

“Seems like a good guy, if not a little stupid.”

“This town isn’t like others, it’s worse. Separated.” 

“Maybe That has something to do with Ronald McDonald trolling our sewers for children.”

Don choked on his beer,”You’re terrible.” 

“It’s great.” Richie felt a little pleased with himself being able to at least distract Don from Adrian. Wasn’t his best effort but the wounds were still raw so he was treading quite carefully,”You’ll get him back, one thing with the clown is that you’ll need to believe in yourself no matter how easy it is not to. You gotta believe with all your heart or he’s gonna come crap on your shit and you’ll end up dead. So if you want Adrian back you can’t doubt that there’s any option besides him coming back, no matter what anyone else does.”

“What about you?” 

“Eh, my motormouth keeps speaks enough for two. I’m fine being single.”

Don couldn’t resist poking Richie a bit,”Is that why you’re in a gay bar?”

Richie blinked a little shocked before narrowing his eyes, oh it’s on,”No it’s why I fucked your mom.”

Don just smiled, his voice a little louder than the quiet conversation they were having,”You know for a straight guy you’re alright.”

Richie blinked at Don surprised before smiling in appreciation, his secret was safe between them still,”See you grow to love me. Mind telling that to your mom?”

Don rolled his eyes and was about to respond when the bartender spoke over the quiet murmuring crowd,”Alright everyone, Time to get out. Y’all can come back when we’re actually open.”

The crowd began to shuffle out the door in scattered clumps, no one leaving in a group less than four, giving Don their condolences and apologetic smiles as he walked up to the bar to pay his tab,” Hey Elmer, I’m gonna clear up, anything you need?” 

Elmer shook his head and rang up Dons tab,”I’m sorry about Adrian, son, he was a good guy.” 

Don smiled painfully,”Yeah…”

“What are you gonna do?”

“Stay in Derry till they find him, then maybe go to Quebec, he’s got family up there.” 

Elmer nodded,”Just be careful, y’all got a target on your back.” 

Don nodded again before heading out the door,”See you ‘round, Elmer.” 

Don squinted in the sunlight rubbing his eyes as they adjusted to being in the dimly lit bar,”Where to now, Mike?”

Mike hung up his phone,”There’s one more person we need to visit, Mary Chance, she lives on the outskirts of Derry on one of the smaller farms. SHe said she may have some tips for us.”

Bill frowned,”I thought you talked to everyone who knew everything already.”

“She, uh, she called me. Said she’d finally be willing to meet.” 

Don squinted slightly, what the hell was his aunt planning, and Mike was hiding something, not something exactly malicious but not good either. Or maybe he’d always been out there, especially if the lack of reaction from the losers club means anything,”Yeah I know where it is. I’ll drive. Hop in.”

Eddie grimaced as the losers climbed into the back of the truck, as Richie called shotgun,”Do you know how unsafe that is?”

Richie peered over the top of the truck,”Come on small fry, otherwise I’ll leave you here.”

Eddie made a slightly alarmed noise and climbed into the truck after Richie. Don started the engine and drove off to the farm gripping the steering wheel as Eddie and Richie began to argue with each other… it was gonna be a long day.

Don pulled up to his aunt’s house, sighing when he saw his cousin’s police car. Another painful conversation on it’s way no doubt,”Right kids, time to get out.”

Eddie made a face,”We’re all older than you.”

“He was talking about height Eduardo.” Richie said laughing before Eddie tried to shove him out of the car. 

Don sighed before walking up to the steps closely followed by MIke and the rest of the losers, with Stan separating Eddie and Richie. Don moved to knock before the door was opened showing his aunt, tall, greying hair and dark brown eyes,”You’re late, Donald.”

Don scowled before moving into the house,”Had obligations.”

“Yes the party at The Falcon. Was it worth it?”

Don’s scowl deepened and he remained silent refusing to play this game with her, she knew something and he didn’t have the patience for it. Mike spoke up his voice soft,”You had something to tell us about Derry?”

Mary’s hand searched for her couch,”Specifically, under Derry. Y’all should sit, tell me your first run ins with the creature. Donald, feed Maturin while your here.”

Don nodded but made no motion to move, ignoring the strange look Richie sent him. Stan sat down and spoke his voice soft and calm,”I was in the Synagogue and my dad has a shitty painting of a woman with a flute and it… it came to life, and tried to chase me, so I ran away, slamming the door on it.”

“How long does it take you to get to big bird?” Richie said chuckling awkwardly.

Stan turned and scowled at him,”Shut up trashmouth.”

Richie leaned against the wall sticking his tongue out at Stan, as Eddie began to talk,”MIne was… was a leper by the Neibolt house, I used to play in the train yard. I just got on my bike and ran away. I didn’t want to catch anything, even the possibility of everything.”

Mary pursed her lips,”Hmm, I think the best chance to beat this creature would be uniting the past and the present, therefore the future. Find something important from your past, and bring it for the ritual.”

Bev squinted,”Ritual?”

Mike cleared his throat,”The ritual of Chud. We need to perform it 

lair. We should get going we’ll meet back up at the library when we gather our things. We should split up.”

Richie straightened up,”Let’s not do that. That’s insane.”

Eddie nodded pointing at Richie,”He’s right, haven’t you ever seen a horror movie.”

Ben cleared his throat,”Guys, guys, guys. We took Don’s truck here. We’ll have to split up again just to make it move faster otherwise we’ll be waiting all day.”   
Beverly put a hand on Ben’s shoulder,”Ben’s right, we should split up to make things move faster. Worst thing, we call each other for back up right?”

Bill nodded,”It’s not a bad idea. We should get going then. Thank you, Mary.”

Mary sighed,”Y’all should feed Maturin on your way out, it’ll bring you good luck.”

The losers club glanced at Don who shrugged, it was just a turtle,”It’s the least we can do?”

The losers began to head out the door staring at the turtle laying on the patio, in its enclosure,”Is that it?”

Don nodded,”There’s lettuce in the box.”

Don turned away from the losers club, before looking at the patio swing, zoning out further, further into memories of Adrian and a semblance of coping, if he kept moving, he could prevent a complete and total breakdown. The second he paused to think, he’d crumble and fall apart.

Don blinked confused, staring at the hand on his arm confused. His eyes flickered up meeting Richie’s concerned gaze,”You okay?”

Don shrugged,” Not really, but don’t see a chance of processing anytime soon.”

Richie squeezed Don’s arm reassuringly,”Well you got a team looking out for you when you do.”

Don nodded,”Thanks Rich, and if you ever need-”   
“I know who to call.”

Don watched the losers clamber into his truck with less protests Richie and Eddie getting booted to the back seat by Bill and Stan, he started to drive off to the city as Ben hit the side of his truck letting him know everyone was settled in.

Bill cleared his throat awkwardly,”Look about earlier, I-I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just a little sensitive about my endings.”

Stan hid his face in his hands a little thrilled that Patty wasn’t going to be able to come till tomorrow, she was really gonna rip Bill a new asshole then. Don made a grunt of acknowledgment,”And?”

“I-I-It just seems like no one likes the endings.” Billy replied,”Is there anything else that wasn’t liked about the books?”   
Stan groaned and shrank down into his chair as Don glanced at Bill for a moment,”You don’t get the experience of an outsider. You don’t truly get it. You’re a straight WASP, from small town Maine. It’s easy for you to be the inside looking out. But as a gay man who knows what it’s like to be an outsider, the other, something wrong? It can come across as Kitsch or in poor taste, and I basically had the same upbringing as you did, but someone like Addie has always been the other, it can come across as impersonal, a sort of stereotype. And you’re writing what you know, how you know it, and clearly enough people like your books because your famous so I don’t know what you hope to learn from the opinions of two small town queers.” 

Richie was listening to Don talk to Bill through the open back window, feeling the truck tense when the word queer was dropped. Don continued seemingly unaware of how uncomfortable Bill was with this conversation, or maybe he knew, and knew short of climbing over stan and throwing himself out of the car, Bill was his verbal hostage,”Queer isn’t not a bad word Bill, well, it depends who you ask. It’s just sort of a general term when you don’t want to explain your identity further. It’s a term to explain yourself just as much as gay or straight is.”

Bill nodded as he pondered what Don said, Mike spoke as they pulled through the Barrens near the kissing bridge,”Don stop here, I know what I’m gonna get.”   
Stan looked around the bridge,”You guys still think the club house is still standing?”

Ben sat up slightly,”Should be, built it fwell.” 

Stan opened the door,” I’m gonna go find it. We’ll meet back at the library?”

Bill nodded as Mike disappeared over the fence closely followed by Stan, he looked over at Don who started to pull away from the kissing bridge again,”Should we all split up at in the town square? We’ll go our separate ways from there?”

“We could always stick together.” Eddie said looking around the truck bed nervously,”I mean it might take a little longer but, we’ll be safer as a group right?”

Richie sighed,”We weren’t together the whole summer though, we’ll just get our shit and get out. No one stays longer than necessary, the second we see something going wrong we call someone. Deal?”

Everyone in the car nodded, trading numbers as Don drove off to the center of town. Richie leaned against the back of the truck,” So Donnie boy, shall we play the getting to know you game after you so kindly verbally eviscerated our fearless leader. It’s only fair that we get to know you.”

Don sighed,” What do you wanna know?”

Richie shrugged,”Guys?”

Ben readjusted himself so he was laying back down on the truck bed,”How long have you and Adrian been together?”

“Two years, it’d be three years on the 18th.” 

Bev smiled softly,”That’s sweet. How’d you guys meet?”   
“Addie was writing for a regional magazine, sent him here. He eventually decided to stay making Derry his base of operations. He’d leave for work every so often, traveling and writing his pieces, and I’d just travel to Bangor everyday for work.”

“You ever join him?”   
Don shook his head,”Nah, I hate hotels, not for lack of trying on Addie’s part though. He was always the more romantic out of the two of us. Even if it was a work trip.”

“He sounds sweet.”

“He is.” Don parked near the City Center,”We split up from here?”   
Bill nodded before heading down the street looking for any clue to his memories, as Bev spoke,”Don, care to walk with me?”

Don nodded a little confused, confused about why she chose him rather than Bill or Ben who was currently staring at her like a kicked puppy,”Sure thing. Lead the way.”


	3. You Can Call Me White Elephant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Homophobic slurs as Don talks about what happened to his ex boyfriend and what is carved into the kissing bridge.

Don glanced at the apartment, he was getting a headache from looking at it. Like a headache that wouldn’t quit unless he didn’t look at the building. He leaned against the apartment building looking at the street, He couldn’t quite shake the feeling that someone was watching him, he couldn’t help the gnawing pit of worry building in his stomach, the same feeling that he had when he was walking home with Adrian. Something was going to happen. 

He pulled out his phone feeling it vibrate seeing a message from Beverley,” _ Things are getting weird. Start heading up. _ ”

Don headed inside making a face at the smell, the smell of rotting wood and rusting pipes, an odd smell for a relatively new and updated building. Or maybe it just seemed that way, you could never be entirely sure with Derry, the whole town was essentially a window dressing, gilded and rotting and utterly separated from everything.

_ Adrian stared at Don over his cup of coffee, sliding off his Yankees hat and fluffing up his mop of hair, Don rolled his eyes,”Still can’t believe you’re a Yankees fan.” _

_ “I still can’t believe you think I was the one to buy this hat.” His eyes landed on the statue of the lumberjack,”That thing is fucking creepy.” _

_ “Paul Bunyan?” _

_ “Who the fuck is Paul Bunyan?” Adrian asked,”Is he like the founder of Derry or something?”’ _

_ Don laughed,”No, we were founded by a bunch of Irish beaver hunters.” _ _   
_ _ “Ah, so straight Irish people?” Adrian said snorting slightly thinking he was funny. _

_ “Shut up and let me tell my story.” Adrian sat up crossing his legs staring at Don attentively,”So Paul Bunyan was an American folk hero, like he’s attributed to making the Grand Canyon. He’s just a giant lumberjack and Derry claims itself as one of his birth places.” _

_ “One?” _

_ “ Bangor claims to be one of his birth places as well, it’s a thing.” _

_ “Birthplace until proven otherwise?” _

_ “Exactly. Don’t you have some in Quebec?” _

_ “We have a version of Paul Bunyan? But ours was real.” Adrian replied thinking a little hard,”Joe Muffreau. But I preferred Ghost stories more than anything.” _

_ “And yet, you iviserate that poor Denbrough guy every chance you get.” _

_ “His writing is bad and your sister needs to know that.” Adrian shivered slightly,”This town is weird, not like creepy weird but like off, it’s interesting.” _

_ “God, you’re such a weirdo. Most people run away from danger.” _ _   
_ _ Adrian stretched out, head resting against the back of the bench,”Ah, Mon Chum, you’ll come to love me.” _

Don forced the door open as Bev slammed into him knocking him to the ground, she scrambled away and he shot down after her,”Bev!”

Don reached her by the time she turned around, looking at the crumbling facade shocked. Bev clung to his jacket to steady herself as a red balloon floated towards them,”Don, you see that too right?”

Don nodded pulling Bev closer to them as it floated around, revealing that it was one of those gimmicky “ _ I ♥ Derry” _ ones from the fair,”Yeah.”

The balloon popped less than a foot from them, causing them to flinch, Bev cast one last look at her old crumbling apartment, taking Don’s hand to have something solid to steady herself with,”Let’s get out of here.”

* * *

Richie looked at the old abandoned arcade, he’d say it’d seen better days, but… maybe this was for the best, sure it was one of the only real form of entertainment in Derry but three arcade games, pinball machines, and a claw game did not a fun time make. He put a quarter into the token machine, a little surprised that it still worked, a clean game token landing in the cup. He was tempted to try to power the game up, search for a little piece of childhood nostalgia that had been lost in years of touring, saying material that sounded monotonous and he never connected to. It had been awhile since he genuinely enjoyed comedy, only really having that fire in his soul when he was with the Losers or Don, people who played with him. Don maybe the newest member but he fit, he seemed to know Richie and his deep secret, but that may have been because at one point he was Richie. Stuck. Stuck in Derry. Stuck in the closet. Stuck alone and worried about ending up dead in a ditch, bleeding, beaten, and forgotten. But Don’s Eddie was Adrian. Adrian who’d pick a fight with anyone if they were disrespectful to Don, he knew the feeling taking the abuse when it was aimed at you but the second it splashed against the people you loved snapping and snarling until someone backed off.

He glanced back at Arcade game remembering the run in with Bowers and how fucking close his life came to ending. He tries not to think about what would’ve happened if they believed Bowers, but Bowers had a bit of a rep for calling everyone who wasn’t part of his gang flamer or fag or something.

_ He playing against some random kid who asked to play him in the arcade, if he knew who he was, he would’ve stayed farther than far away. Maybe it was a bit of the loneliness from being separated from the rest of the losers even after they had their falling out. But he was bored and lonely and Street Fighter was always better with two players. _

_ ”Can- you little bitch.” The blond smiles at himslgihtly, the adreneline from a close fought battlr making them friends even though they didn’t even know each other’s names,”You’re fucking good.” _

_ Richie high fives him, smiling a silent thanks as the blond continues to talk,”Ah, well, I gotta go.” _

_ “Hey,” Richie holds up the token,”How about we go again? Play some more you know? Only if you want to.” _

_ The blond looks at Bowers and that’s when Richie becomes aware of the fact he’s well and truly fucked,”Dude, why are you being weird? I’m not your fucking boyfriend.” _ _   
_ _ Richie’s stomach grows cold as he tries to backtrack, backtrack into a state of lying safety,”Woah, I didn’t-” _

_ “The fuck’s going on here?” Damn it, Bowers spotted them. He was deader than dead meat. _

_ “You asshooles didn’t tell me this town was full of little fairies.” So the blond knew Bowers, god damn it. _

_ “Richie fucking Tozier?” Bowers advanced on Richie the same way a lion would, this was one of those times he regretted watching the animal channel with Ben. He knew what happened next and wasn’t keen on the sight of Bowers picking Richie chunks out of his teeth,”Wait you trying to bone my little cousin?” _

_ Richie looks around the arcade seeing if anyone would come to help, a Loser coming in at the 11th hour like usual, oh yeah, the club split up,”Get the fuck out of here, Faggot!” _ __   
_ Richie began to bolt out the door, but apparently not fast enough for Bowers who screamed at him,”FUCKING MOVE.” _ __   
Richie took a deep breath wiping his eyes and walking out of the arcade he didn’t know exactly where he was going outside of wanting to be away from the bad memories. He bolted down the street away from the bad memories, he found himself back at the park, the park where he decided he’d rather be safe and alive then happy and dead, well dead both outside and in.

He remembers one of the last times he was here, Pennywise took over the Paul Bunyan statue and tried to kill him. Fun times.

Richie was about to turn and leave, leave back to the hotel or library he’d decide when he got there. Someone walked past him slamming a pamphlet into his chest, they looked back at him and Richie sucked in a breath, pale skin contrasted harshly with the crimson wounds on his face, white cloudy eyes and blue lips. A shark sized bite torn out of his chest, shredded jacket hanging limply off of him. But that didn’t stop Richie from recognizing him, even with a familiar gouge on his cheek, the one the Richie puppet sported years before hand. No amount of mutilation would prevent Richie from recognizing him though,  _ Adrian _ ,”Canal Days Festival, closing ceremonies. Hope to see you there, Handsome.”

Richie recoiled slightly shocked, he knew why Pennywise was using Adrian to get to him, an example of what would happen if he was really open with who he was, in Derry or somewhere else, he didn’t want to end up like Adrian, “missing”.  _ Dead. _ He looked down at the pamphelpt in his hands, it was a flyer for his fuenral, wearing the same clothes he was wearing right now, which meant he had to kill that fucking clown before that clown killed him.

He jolted when he heard  _ the _ voice, and of course it was on top of the Bunyan statue”Did you miss me, Richie? Cause I’ve missed you. No one wants to play with the clown anymore. Play a game with me? How about Street Fighter? You like that one don’t you?”

Richie backed up slightly, dread building in his stomach as Pennywise continued,”Or what about Truth or Dare? Oh, you wouldn’t want anybody to pick truth, though would you?”

The clown began to float down towards,”Wouldn’t want anyone to know what you’re hiding, I know your secret, your dirty little secret. I know your secret , your dirty little secret! Should I tell them, Richie?”

Richie squeezed his eyes shut chanting to himself,”It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real.”

Richie worked up the courage to open his eyes as Pennywise laughed and lunged at him, causing him to scream and bolt away back to his friends and the hotel,”Aw, come back and play. Come back and play with the clown!”

* * *

Stan looked around the woods, it’d been a long time since he’d been in the woods but he knew the club house had to be close, and Patty was coming tonight, that was going to be fun. He remembered her trying to read Bill’s werewolf book for her book club and eventually just read the plot on wikipedia. He should call her, tell her that he left a key for his room or just call her, just to hear her voice again. He went to try to search for a sign of the door when the ground underneath him creaked and he fell through it, knocking the wind out of him,”Ow.”

Stan sucked in a breath and slowly picked himself up, he had an idea on what to grab, He turned the flashlight from his phone on looking for the old coffee tin. He spotted it on the rotting bookshelf,”Ah there you are you tricky bastard.”

Stan opened the tin pulling out the old green flowery shower cap,”Still can’t believe Richie thought you guys were stupid. Well, thought you were stupid until Bev put a spider on him.”   
Stan froze slightly feeling something start to watch him, he side eyed the stairs before deciding to bolt up the stairs and slam the club house door shut, relatching it,”Nope. Nope. Nope. Just gonna head back to the hotel and mind my own business. Gonna wait for my wife, kill a clown then go on vacation. It’s summer and I intend to live to see 41.”

* * *

Eddie walked into Keene’s pharmacy checking his inhaler, Damn thing was empty. Part of him whispered that he didn’t really need the inhaler, but the rest of him screamed that he couldn’t live without it,”I called in a prescription for Edward Kaspbrak?”

The old pharmacist, Keene, approached, with the bag containing his inhaler,”Kaspbrak? How’s your mother?”   
Eddie frowned, jerking back slightly as Mr. Keene grabbed his face, probing him slightly”She died a few years ago from heart disease… Please stop, it’s just a mole.”

“It might not be cancer.” Keene said licking his lips.

Eddie couldn’t feel the spike of fear that drove through him, his dad died from cancer that meant he had a higher chance of getting it in general,”Cancer?”

“But it still might be.” Keene walked away from him,”I think I have something for that.”

Eddie pocketed his inhaler after paying for it, and began to head out of the pharmacy, pausing when he heard a familiar voice shout for him,”Eddie! Eddie bear?!”   
Eddie looked around the pharmacy,”Mommy?”    
“Eddie!”

Eddie followed his mom’s voice down into the pharmacies storage room, he remembers the last time he was down here. The leper and his mom, he shuddered slightly he still felt guilty about leaving her down here even though he knew it wasn’t really her. It was a trick, just one of Pennywise’s games to make him weak and afraid. Like Richie said he was the bravest of them all. He gripped his inhaler a little tighter as he looked around the storage room, when he was younger he didn’t realize just how outdated this basement was,”Why is that curtain still here?”

He wouldn’t be surprised if he looked at the bottles if he found plasters and plantains and lots and lots of “medicine” mixed with cocaine, He walks towards the partitioned off area trying to ignore the feeling of dread,”It’s just a memory, just a memory. You’re fine. Deep breath, deep breath. Okay alright. Well, you gonna do this, Eds? ”

He jerked the curtains open, relaxing when he saw nothing there, except for old medical tools, and what he was pretty sure was a lobotomy pick, that was always reassuring,Eddie sighed in relief and confusion,”What’s all this shit doing here?”   
He turned to walk away when the leper lunged out of seemingly nowhere, grabbing his face and shoving him into the wall, inhumanly long tongue wagging out and trying to lick him,”Ah shit! Fuck! Stop!”   
Eddie put his hand on the Leper’s face pushing him off of him, before sliding his hand around the leper’s throat, shoving him to the other side of the room trying to keep the tongue away from his face. Eddie was surprised at how quickly the leper gave up the fight when he began to squeeze, stopping trying to lick him, hands letting go of Eddie slack.    
Eddie squeezed harder, surprised at how weak Pennywise felt in his hands, how powerless. As powerless as he tried to make the kids 27 years earlier,”Fuck you!  _ FUCK YOU _ !”

The leper threw up black liquid on to Eddie causing him to scream and let the leper go in disgust as he tried to wipe the black goo out of his eyes. When he was able to see again the Leper was gone causing him to jump and run out of the pharmacy,”What the Fuck?”

He pulled on the door panicking when it was opening,”Gotta get out of here, Gotta get out of here.”

The woman who worked in the pharmacy whistled at him startling him from his panic,”Ah, what?”

“Push don’t pull.”

Eddie laughed a little neurotically pushing the door open and running to the hotel so he could wash his face or burn his clothes. Maybe both, hopefully at least the first,”Oh, thanks.”

* * *

Mike looked around the Barrens searching the ground for his token, pacing the banks of the river for the rock Beverly threw at Bowers nailing him, kicking off the Apocalyptic Rock Fight and the official start of the Losers Club. He was nervous.

He didn’t like to lie about what actually happened to the (find name), but the Losers all needed something to unite behind, to believe. To reunite under a shared idea. They needed to believe they could kill Pennywise to hurt him, They needed to be able to believe that the ritual worked to make it work. There was a reason Pennywise went after children and that’s because their ability to believe that much more powerful. 

Mike jumped slightly at the sound of a hawk screeching at him, he still fucking hated birds, couldn’t understand Stan’s fascination with them. He stumbled across the rock Bev had thrown at Henry, roughly the size of a fist and a little jagged with rusted flakes of brown on them, blood from where it made contact with Bowers’ head. 

He smiled slightly thinking of Richie screaming “Rock Fight!” before being hit in the head and the rest of the losers joining in and pelting Derry’s most notorious bullies.    
MIke knew the rest of the losers would hate him when they found out, if they found out that it was just a placebo, but they might also understand. Understand his urgency and why he did it, he was manning the lighthouse and couldn’t afford anything worse to happen, Pennywise had to be stopped. He’s accepted that fact, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the losers accepted it, accepted the fact that no one else could stop Pennywise, they just needed to remember, just needed to find something to start fighting for.

The falcon screeched again causing Mike to flinch and shudder, he should head back to the library everyone was bound to get their tokens soon and he didn’t want to keep them waiting, the sooner they got together the sooner they could kill Pennywise and go back to normal lives, and Mike would leave Derry. For good, not having to worry about the possibility of a clown coming back.

* * *

Ben walked back into Derry High School, he didn’t think he’d ever be back after he graduated, it felt strange being back, not good or bad, just strange. Like putting on an old sweater or shirt and being surprised that it still fit. He remembers coming back to school after Bowers was thrown into the asylum, the fact that the whole school was relieved that the murders would stop and none of the bowers gang was left to torment them. It was the little things. Ben went to where his locker used to be. 

He wasn’t excited to be back in Derry, but he was excited to see Bev again. He can’t believe forgot Beverly, her and beautiful red firey hair. He touched his former locker, squinting as he remembered one of the last run ins he had with Pennywise. Him as Bev confirming his worst fears, that no one would love him. That he’d die alone, forgotten, insignificant.

He remembers shoving himself into his locker for protection, and seeing the torn out yearbook page shoved into the side of the locker for safe keeping,  _ the yearbook page _ .

Ben pulled out his wallet pulling out the old worn yearbook page. How could he have forgotten her but neer gotten rid of her yearbook page, the only person who signed it. He slid the page back into his wallet for safekeeping when he heard a familiar growling voice,”Psst, Fat boy!”

Ben swallowed pressing his back against the locker as he stared down the hallway seeing a familiar terrifying glow start to approach him, slowly stalking him. Predator and prey.

Ben backed away from the clown, slowly not breaking eye contact until Pennywise began to sprint towards him,”Kiss me, Fat Boy!”

Ben bolted down the hallway nearly slamming into the door that the janitor opened, he slid to a stop to avoid knocking the janitor over,”Hey!”

Ben looked behind him, sighing in relief seeing that Pennywise wasn’t chasing him anymore. He was safe,”I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”   
The janitor shot Ben a strange look but went back into the classroom to put the trashcan back. Ben couldn’t stay here, he has to get back to the hotel back to Beverly.

* * *

Don walked over the mainstreet bridge, no caution tape or memorial. Like it never happened. No hint of what happened a few days ago. Damn a few days ago, Don was dreading the feeling of what happened to him, that slight numbness before the dam broke being his only sense of security. The second he settled down, paused, letting it sink in he’d completely fall apart. He kept his eyes trained on the ground, scuffed work boots continuing forward as if they were made of lead. His eyes stung as he passed a dried rust colored splatter looking as if it was ground into the cement, as much apart of it as the lane paint. He knew whose blood it was without even having to think hard about it, it was adrian’s, Adrian who could still spit out bitter cutting words even when he couldn’t breath or was choking on his own blood. He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to get rid of the headache that was starting to build, he looked around the bridge trying to place that feeling on the back of his neck, he still felt as if he was being watched. Outside him and Bev there was only one other person on the bridge, a teenage boy with greasy slicked back hair, staring into the water where Adrian was ritualistically thrown over days before.

Bev gripped his hand reassuringly she was still shaking from her apartment. SHe couldn’t shake the feeling that she was in danger, watched like a rabbit in a snare, a feeling she had grown used to with Tom. When she looked around the bridge she thought she spied him staring at her from near the bus terminal by The Falcon, she tried to retaliate and shake the feeling of him staring at her staring into his soul by pressing herself closer to Don, who was tall and broad and could come across as intimidating with the fading bruises on his face, but was kind and sweet. He reminded her of Richie, but less dirty jokes, but the same sense of undeniable loyalty. That same gentle reassuring air of protection,”I feel like I’m being watched.”   
Don looked over at her,”Clown?”

Bev shook her head rubbing her wrist tenderly,”No, less like I’m being stalked and more like I’m under surveillance.”

Don pursed his lips slightly,”WHat’s his name? Your ex?”

Bev made a face,”That obvious?”   
“The bruises on your wrist and the tan line from your ring tell a story,” Don kept his voice soft,”It’s obvious when you know what to look for.”   
“Do you have experience?”

“My sister dated a shady guy when I was away at college. I know what can happen.” Don began to walk down the embankment, careful not to slip or tangle himself up in weeds, holding his hands ou slightly to steady himself,”Careful, it’s still slick. Here.”   
He held out a hand for Bev to grab that way if she slipped or fell, she’d fall into him. Don paused when he set foot onto the riverbank, heart hammering in his chest and mouth filling up with the copper tang of blood. 

_ Don groaned as he was thrown to the ground, rolling to his side before being kicked in the stomach. He watched as the inhaler was kicked from Adrian’s hand, his chest spasming as he tried to force air into his lungs.  _ _   
_ _ Don tried to scramble towards Adrian, attempt to help him, as he was kicked and punched in the head causing him to become slightly disoriented, and lose his traction on the wet cement,”He has asthma, you fucker.” _

_ Don caught another blow to the face as he tried to wrestle his attacker off of him but his arm was wrenched back and his face was pressed into the ground, his heart was pounding in his chest blood roaring in his ears. He could hear the homophobes argue with each other and he could only watch as two of them dragged Adrian up across the pavement by his jacket and belt,”Adrian!” _

_ He called out even hoping for a slightly groggy sound of acknowledgement, a sound of something so Don wouldn’t feel so alone. He heard a splash and the weight was lifted off his back, oh God they threw him over. He ran over to the ledge hoping to be able to spy him at least have a general idea of where he was, he heard Adrian bob and scream for help, they were going to be fine,”Somebody help!”  _ _   
_ _ Don ran down the embankment slipping slightly, losing his footing on the slick mud and wet roks more than once, he shouted for Adrian trying to locate him in the black churning mass of water. _

_ He saw that stupid hat he bought while Adrian’s back was turned, he can’t believe Adrian actually liked the damn thing,”Adrian?” _

_ He looked up across the water hearing movement, he saw Adrian’s limp body lifted up close to passing out as the clown supported him. Don said his name in such naked relief it felt like the weight of the world fell off his shoulders, he began to walk into the water to make his way to him,”Adrian.” _ _   
_ _ The clown looked up eyes snapping directly at Don as its mouth widened revealing razor sharp rows of needle teeth, causing Don to stop dead in his tracks in confusion and fear. He watched helplessly as Adrian lifted his head confused, his expression shifting from fright to terror as he was what was holding him up. He watched helplessly as the clown bit into Adrian’s chest, tearing out his heart. The sounds of Adrian’s breaking ribs echoing as if lighting struck and blew apart a tree. Don lost sight on Adrian as shrieking balloons began to descend down from beneath the bridge. Screaming deafening to Don’s ears, disorienting him and make him slide to his knees until the screams stopped and he couldn't see Adrian anymore, he was just gone. The only trace of Adrian being there was a bloody scrap of bamboo printed satin fabric discarded on the ground. _

Bev grabbed Don’s hand to steady herself as her foot got caught on a rock and she slipped. Don jumped losing his footing and falling into the river. Beverly landed next to him, nearly on top of him,”Bev, you okay?”

Bev looked at Don shocked, he was barely keeping it together but still caring about her wellbeing,”I’m-I’m fine. Are you okay?”

Don swiped at his eyes and took a deep breath,”No, not really. But I don’t get to be not okay. I just wasn’t fast enough to save him.”

“You couldn’t have beaten Pennywise.”

“I could’ve stopped the fight from happening, not let him pull me back.” Don stood up and walked deeper into the river, shivering slightly from the cold water,”He’s just gone…” _ _

Bev grabbed Don’s hand as she looked across the water meeting Pennywise’s eyes out from behind Adrian’s face,”Don.”

Don stiffened when his eyes settled on “Adrian”, his chest heaved slightly as Adrian stumbled forward slightly, feet catching on the river weeds, hand clutching his chest. He glanced up at Don confused and made a motion to talk, to call out for Don but blood came pouring out of his mouth instead of sound, blood poured out of his mouth sooking his front as he fell to the side slumped over eyes unseeing, dead, a gaping hole in his chest wear his heart should’ve been. Behind Adrian stood that fucking clown, holding balloons, balloons like the ones from the night he lost Adrian. Don made a motion to move towards Adrian, his love, but was stopped by Bev squeezing his hand tightly and digging her nails into his forearm. He stared at Adrian helplessly, before squeezing his eyes shut, voice begging,”It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real.” 

Bev’s voice was in his ear,”Fixate on something real, something important to you.”

Don nodded, keeping his eyes squeezed shut,”I-I took Adrian to the Kissing Bridge when we were coming back from Bangor, I was trying to call attention to how bad Derry was, trying to get him to leave, but he loved it here. He could breath here, and finally finish that stupid fucking novel. I know how awful Derry is to people like us, I had to come out to my parents after I was gaybashed, I didn’t have any other option. My ex boyfriend has brain damage because they tried to fry the fairy out of him. I know how Derry treats people like us, especially people like Adrian, people who’d rather die than lie to themselves, so I showed him what Derry township thinks of us. What was carved into the bridge,’Stick the nails in the eyes of all faggots for God, and Show me your cock queer and I’ll cut it off you,’ were two of the most memorable.”

“What’d he do?”

Don laughed slightly,”He frowned slightly, set his jaw and promptly decided to fuck them all. Carved our initials in a heart near this old R+E, he didn’t care if the town accepted him. If they didn’t, fuck them, he wasn’t going going to apologize for who he was, who he loved. If I had let him, he would’ve carved our whole damn names.”

Don startled slightly opening his eyes as he felt something bump into his leg. That stupid hat he bought for Adrian when his back was turned. He knew Adrian would wear the hat but he wasn’t expecting Adrian to like the hat, but even though Don hated Derry, hated everything about this vile shit pit of a town, but he couldn’t help but be a little proud? Proud that Adrian took the gift and wore it, no matter how stupid and campy the thing looked because he knew Don, knew hat it’d at the very least amuse him if it didn’t make him happy. 

It was so stupid of him to agree to go to the festival. They should’ve stayed home, gone to the falcon or planned a trip to New York so they could start looking for a place, but Adrian smiled at him, that stupidly wide charming grin of his that made Don’s knees go weak and his insides turn to putty and he asked about going, a hidden mix of curiosity and excitement about the possibility of gaining something he was robbed of after his father’s death. Don wanted to make that smile last forever, so he agreed, reluctantly because it was still Derry that they were in. 

He picked up the hat and pulled Bev up with him out of the water,”I have some clothes back at my place if you want to change or I can drop you back off at the hotel.”

Bev shrugged she really didn’t have the energy to go back to the hotel. She needed to shake off the feeling that she was being watched, she hoped it was only nerves, and not her being in anymore danger outside of the clown itself,”Your place is fine.”

* * *

Bill rode Silver down his old street, part of him was surprised at how little everything changed, but at the same time how much it did. Derry was never bustling but it did have some sense of life to it at one point, now it seemed to be like any other sleepy nondescript town, he was about ninety percent sure that if he rode up past his house, to where Georgie...died, the house across from the storm drain would still be home to the Gardeners, Dave was the only one he really remembered but he knew he had some kids that were roughly Bill’s and Georgie’s ages growing up, stopping by the house once it turned out Georgie was indeed missing. He remembers Mr. Gardeners’ numerous apologies about how if he’d been faster or near the front of the house like he normally was he could’ve seen something outside of the rain washing away a blood stain. 

Bill paused in front of his old house he hadn’t been back there since his family moved 26 years ago, his parents claiming it was far too painful to be in Derry with all the pitying stares and reminders of Georgie. But leaving almost erased them from his memory, the Derry fog preventing anything that happened in Derry’s town limits from ever leaving. His brother didn't deserve to be forgotten, a hidden moment on a mantle piece, a pained smile and a “I don’t want to talk about it” Because you couldn’t remember much about your baby brother, much less that he was killed by proactive Ronald Mcdonald. That you couldn't remember anything about the first 14 years of your life because it felt as if there was an intense leaden fog preventing the slightest bit of memory from escaping from the dark fearful recesses of his mind. 

The more time Bill spent in Derry the more he considered to change his career to writing nonfiction, from what he was slowly remembering he couldn’t believe how much was based off of what he saw during that hellish uniting summer. He continued to bike past his childhood home stopping in front of the storm drain where Georgie disappeared, died. The drain seemed impossibly black an ever expanding chasm waiting to snatch up whoever had the misfortune of walking past and within grabbing distance. He heard the sound of laughter and his name echo from the drain,”Hello?” 

“Billy?” Georgie’s voice echoed from the drain,”Billy it’s dark down here.”

Billy slowly approached the drain,”Georgie?”

“I found it Billy, but the rain washed us away.” Bill laid on the concrete trying to get a good view into the drain and saw Georgie’s hands reach up to grab him,”Help me out before he comes back.”

Billy reached his hand into the drain, trying to grab for Georgie but not quite reaching him, his fingers barely brushing Georgie’s,”Gr-grab my hand!”

“I can’t Billy he’s coming! Don’t let him get me again!” Georgie swiped at Billy’s hand unable to make contact with it,”Billy!”

Bill strained to reach Georgie, trying to wiggle into the drain further,”Jump and grab my hand and I’ll pull you out.”

A hand gripped Bill’s wrist jerking him further into the drain, he cried out in pain as he watched dozens of hands grip at his wrist and shirt, trying to pull him in further, he struggled against the hands trying to brace himself against the sidewalk, he rolled away from the drain pipe after suddenly being let go his shoulder sore and the S.S. Georgie in his hand.    
When Bill stood up he saw the kid from the Jade of the Orient,”Kid do you ever hear anything coming from the storm drain?”

The kid shook his head, looking at Bill a little wide eyed,”No, but sometimes when I’m in the bath there are voices that come up from the drain. Talking about the circus, trying to make it sound fun and stuff.”

Billy swallowed, before grabbing the kid and shaking him,”You stay away from the drains okay? Tell your parents and leave Derry as soon as possible! Do you understand!?”   
The kid seemed shaken by what Bill was saying and pulled away,” I’ve got to go to the fair, bye.”

Billy watched as the kid skated away from him, before slowly pulling Silver up and rolling his shoulder, and putting the S.S. Georgie in his pocket. He squeezed Silver’s handles before settling himself back on it and beginning to bike back to the hotel slowly, trying to do his best not to crash the bike, he just wanted to leave Derry. But he couldn’t let another Georgie situation happen.

* * *

Don rifled through Adrian’s clothes, he was closer to Bev's size anyway. And probably owned clothing that was more suited to her tastes, he often picked fashion over function and relied on Don to carry his stuff. Which he never minded, because it meant that Adrian wasn’t going to leave, even after almost three years that was still a thought that ate him up inside. He grabbed a pair of black jeans and one of Adrian’s slightly oversized soft shirts before walking back out of the bedroom and handing the clothes to Beverly,”Here, bathroom is down the hall on the right. Just toss your clothes into the washer when done.”

Bev took the clothes,”Thank you, Don.”

Don rubbed the back of his head awkwardly,” Least I could do right?” 

Bev shrugged before heading into the bathroom, she couldn’t help but smile slightly. The apartment was everything she wanted. The air of domesticity, sure the apartment was a little messy, jackets tossed over chairs and discarded ball caps. It looked lived in, loved. What she dreamed about getting, away from Derry. Her safe place. But she never had a safe place, her father saw to that, Bowers saw to that, Tom saw to that. She wanted to get away from her father but ended up marrying him instead. 

Bev changed into the clothes, they smelled nice, clean and earthy. Laundry soap and cologne, not like it was sprayed with it but more so the way a well loved shirt sort of took on its owner’s scent.

She finished lacing up her shoes and walked out into the living room seeing Don stand shirtless by the answering machine his flannel in his hand as he listened to the messages on the machine, a camouflage rifle bag lying on the kitchen’s island”Allô babies!! Donnie!! What’s it like being being an old man? Hopefully you did something fun for your birthday, I’m quite sad you two decided not to join me in New York. But I wonder if your and Adrian’s relative radio silence is if you actually decided to do it? So sorry for interrupting the celebration, but send me a text when you get this. Silence from both of you is strange… I have to go my show’s starting, I love you.”

Don sighed rapping his knuckles on the counter, before sliding on his shirt and playing the next message,”Allô, Adrian? C'est Félixr, je me demandais comment ça s'était passé? Voulait-il dire oui? Ecoute, je suis désolé pour ce que j'ai dit, si tu ne veux pas lui parler tu ne devrais pas avoir à le faire, mais ça fait dix ans. Tu devrais au moins essayer? M'appellent en arrière quand vous obtenez ce. Don? I was wondering if you could get Adrian to call me back? He probably forgot to charge his phone or something. I worry about him, about both of you, I get that Derry is your home but would it kill you to move to a slightly bigger city? Just watch out for each other.”

Don buried his head in his hands, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself as Bev put her clothes into the washer,”Don?”   
Don’s voice was trembling slightly, slinging the bag over his shoulder,”We should head to the hotel yeah?” 

Bev nodded,”We’ll group up with everyone before heading back to the library.”  _ _


	4. Something about Two Cosmic Shoes

Don leaned against the stairs as Stan came in holding hands with a smaller blonde woman, he readjusted the rifle on his shoulder as Eddie ran past him, Bev, and Bill. He was covered in mud and sort of smelled like something died or the sewers,”Eddie? Are you okay?”   
Eddie chuckled nervously,”I’m fine, thanks bye!”

Don looked between the losers confused,”Is he okay?” 

Stan shrugged,”Relatively. This is my wife Patty. This is Don, Bev, Billy, and Eddie ran upstairs. I think Ben is around somewhere.”

Don smiled and shook her hand,”Nice to meet you.”

Patty looked at Don compared to the rest of the losers, he was obviously younger than the rest of the Losers,”So how did you meet my husband? You seem a little too young to have gone to school with him. ”

Don looked at Stan a little confused, hesitant to elaborate and sound crazy about his true motivations, as he nodded,”She knows why we’re here.”

Don nodded before frowning slightly, his voice pained,”Pennywise killed my boyfriend a few days ago.”

Patty put a hand on his cheek causing him to stiffen slightly at the sudden touch,”Oh, you poor dear.”

Richie stomped into the hotel past the group, his face looking a mix between angry and anguished. Don pulled away from Patty, looking at Richie concerned,”Richie?”   
“I’m getting my stuff and going.” Richie stormed up the stairs. 

Stan and Don shot each other looks of concern, before following him up the stairs quickly,”Richie?!”   
Stan placed his hand in between the door and the frame preventing Richie from shutting them out and locking the door. Stan started to speak as Richie was shoving clothes into his duffle bag,”Rich, you can’t leave.”

Richie paused and turned around glaring at both Don and Stan,”You can’t stop me. I don’t want to end up dead… not like Adrian. I don’t want to end up missing and torn up by a fucking clown. I’m too old for this shit.”

Don flinched at that, his eyes hardening and voice pleading,”You don’t know if that will happen if we stay and fight, but if you leave-”

Stan’s voice was hardened, his hand on Richie’s cheek,”You will die. Once a loser, always a loser right?”

“Should I leave you two for some alone time or?” Don said smiling lightly as there was the sound of something being slammed against something else,”What the fu-”

** _“GUYS.”_ ** Eddie’s voice rang out from the hallway causing the three men to shoot out of the room at Beverly’s scream, they saw Eddie slumped on the stairs, blood running down his mouth as Bev looked at him trying to find a way to stop the bleeding Ben and Patty were already making their way past Bev and Eddie,”Bowers is in my room.”

Don recoiled slightly at the name, he recognized it the way most kids recognized the description of a childhood boogie man. He couldn’t help the fear and anxiety that crept into his voice, his heart was already hammering in his chest, covered in blood like Adrian was,”The child killer?”

The Losers looked at him shocked as Patty and Ben took off into Eddie’s room, Stan followed close after his wife seeing, Ben frozen, eyes locked with Bowers as Patty grabbed the towel rack pipe and threw it at Bowers hitting him in the head,”Son of a Bitch!”   
Stan couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped him, his sweet wife throwing a metal pipe at his childhood bully. He put a hand on Ben and Patty’s shoulders,”We need to go.”

He pulled them out of the room, seeing Richie finishing patching up the stab wound on Eddie’s cheek, Ben scrubbed at his face,”Bow-Bowers has a car, and someone was driving him, I don’t know where he’s going.”   
Don looked around the landing,”Where’s Bill?”   
Bev’s voice was shaking slightly,”He went to the carnival said he had an idea who had an idea over who the next victim was, some kid who lives in his old house.”

Richie paused for a second before looking at Don, a little more pale than normal,”Hey Don, how well known is it that Mike is the town’s librarian and historian?”   
Don shrugged,”Fairly? He’s written a few pieces about the town before.”

Stan and Richie shared a slightly horrified look,”SHIT! MIKE!”   
They all tore down the stairs climbing into the cab and bed of Don’s truck before they tore off down to the library, Bev looked at Don,”What do you mean child killer?”

Don shook his head,”Bowers was tried for at least three murders but thought to be guilty of more, all the murders that happened during 88-89. He for sure killed his dad and like two other people-”

“Victor Smith and Belch Huggins?” Richie supplied a little too familiar with the members of the Bowers Gang.

Don shrugged,”It happened before I was born, I don’t remember exactly, but they think he killed my cousin Crystal, and her death pushed my cousin Tony being a cop. It’s not something talked about.”

Patty looked between the Losers Club, taking into account all their grim expressions,”Is this town cursed?”   
Don looked at her in the rear view mirror as they rapidly approached the Library,”Welcome to Derry, we have beavers and killer clowns.”

“What kind of town did you grow up in Stanley Uris?” Patty said narrowing her eyes at her husband.

Stan shrugged,”A small one?”   
Don parked the car in front of the library and Richie scrambled inside before he was able to remove the key from the engine. The rest of the losers followed suit and Don’s stomach began to roll and flip like he was on a roller coaster, he was regretting leaving the gun in the cab of his car, for a small hint of protection. His hands were trembling, he had no clue why he was so nervous.    
They ran into the library after hearing a slam of something being slammed into something else and something collapsing. They saw Richie standing near the body of Bowers throwing up while Mike was laying on the floor clutching his arm. Ben paused in front of the scene,”Are you okay?”   
Richie looked at Ben incredulously,”No?! I just fucking killed a guy.”   
Ben shot Richie a look,”I was talking to Mike…”   
Mike nodded slumping back against the floor,” Just fine.”

Eddie’s voice was a little quiet,”Mike, you’re bleeding.”   
Mike looked at his arm a little shocked at the gash running down his forearm,”Well, how about that.”

Richie made a gesture between Eddie and Mike,”Well get in there Doctor K. Suck the wound.”   
Eddie glared at Richie,”Shut the fuck up.”

Don had a hand covering his mouth trying not to throw up,” I’m gonna go somewhere else… I can’t-”   
Beverly nodded,” Maybe we should go where there’s better light? Where there’s better light.”

Ben pulled Mike up as he seemed interested in checking out the damage that Bowers did to his arm. He grabbed the first aid kit and began to clean up and fix the gash on his arm,”No it’s fine here.”

Don’s heart hammered in his chest as he leaned against the check out desk hearing the losers talk, he pressed his hand against his chest, trying to calm down his heart beat down and trying to get the sound of Adrian’s blood curdling screams out of his head. Richie sat next to Don on the desk,”I’m sorry about what I said earlier.”

Don shrugged trying to focus on Richie's voice,”Don’t worry about it I get it, who wants to end up like us?”

Richie started to speak,”That’s not what I-”

Beverly’s voice interrupted the conversation and was worried,”Bill? Where are you? What’s going on?”   
“He took a little kid right in front of me, I c-c-co- couldn’t, couldn’t save him, like I couldn’t save Geo-Georgie.” Bill’s voice was frantic.

“Where are you going?”   
“I’m taking the fight to him, it-it started with me, I need to finish it.”

“Bill!” The call beeped up as Bill hung up, leaving the losers panicked about what stupid idiotic move he could be trying to pull.

Richie leaned on the counter,”Wait, where did he go?”

Mike pulled at the gauze as Ben stood up,”He said he was going to take the fight back to Pennywise, and there’s only one place he can do that.”

Eddie’s voice was nervous,”The well house?”   
Bev’s voice was soft,”We need to help him/”

Stan looked at Patty pulling her into a tight hug burying his face in her hair,”You don’t need to come if you don’t want to.”   
Patty raised an eyebrow and pulled away from her husband,”And what my other two options are stay with the dead body or wait in the hotel room and wait for you to get yourself killed? I think not Stanley Uris, I’m your wife, I’m going or you’re not.”

Don couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped him, Richie shot him a look of confusion,”What? Is that not the funniest thing you’ve heard? A lot funnier than any of your shit,  _ Trashmouth _ .”   
Richie squinted at Don,”That is both rude and not in the slightest bit true.”

Eddie whipped his head around pegging Richie with a scathing glare,”You don’t even write your own material.”

Richie flipped Eddie off,”So Donnie Darko, ready for a road trip?”   
Don frowned, his stomach twisting and flipping into knots,”I’m not going to like this am I?”   
Richie’s voice was alarmingly cheerful,”You’re gonna love it.”

Don squinted at Richie,”Where are we going?” 

“29 Neibolt street, the abandoned house by the old Gospel Church.”

Don sighed his shoulders slumping a little defeated,”Let’s go.”

The losers club and co. hopped out of Don’s car as Don slung his rifle over his shoulder, he had to bit his lip close to the point of drawing blood to resist the urge to stay in the car and hide in the cab. The beaver hat weighed heavily in his back pocket. He had to do this, do it for Adrian, make up for it somehow.

Bev entered the rusting overgrown garden first,”Bill!”   
Bill paused, his hand pausing above the door knob. He turned to the losers club,”No, th-this started with me. Be-because I wanted t-to find Georgie.”

Ben looked up at Bill,”We never had to join you. We’re a family, we look out for each other. Either you’re going in or none of us are.”

Richie smacked Don’s chest right where he was bruised from being kicked a few days earlier, causing him to wince and hiss,”We even brought the big guns.”

Bill started to speak,”I can’t ask you to-”

Stan looked up, rubbing the scar on his hand,”You aren’t asking though, most of us made a promise. You’re our best friend Bill, of course we’ll back you up.”

Bill nodded,”Okay, I think that Richie said it best last time we were here.”

Richie made a face,”I don’t want to die?”   
“No.”   
“You’re lucky we’re not measuring dicks?”   
“That wasn’t it.” Don scoffed and rolled his eyes at Richie, he still couldn’t believe this guy was a fucking comedian.   
Richie squinted at the ground,”Let’s kill this fucking clown?”   
Bill nodded,”There we go.”

Richie’s voice hardened with determination, determination to finally end it to even out the odds,”Let’s kill this fucking clown.”

The group began to head into the house as Eddie hung back looking forlorn and terrified,”Guys I can’, I’ll just fail you, I’ll just get you hurt I should’ve stayed in New York. I’m not strong enough.”   
Bev picked up a rusted discarded piece of fence, it looked like a spear almost, or like a card spade attached to a fence pole,”Here, it kills monsters”   
Eddie looked at Bev hopefully,”Really?”   
“Yeah, if you believe it does.” Bev kissed Eddies cheek before ruffling his hair,”Come on, tough guy.”

Bill turned to face Don and Patty,”This is the first time you guys are facing him, Pennywise, he’s, he’s bound by your belief. If you believe he’s fake he can’t hurt you. You just need not to be scared of him no matter how easy it is to believe in him otherwise. Don’t let him get you scared.”   
Don nodded, thinking of the way just glancing at the clown made his heart leap even higher than his throat, his thoughts breaking from Adrian to running away from the clown. His subconscious wanting to kick into overdrive and flee, protect himself,”I know Bill. There’s nothing he can do that’d I’d be scared of at this point.”   
Bill’s lips tightened slightly,”Just keep that thought in your head and you’ll be fine.”   
Patty swallowed,”I’m not afraid of something that can only pray on children.”

Bill nodded,”We don’t separate no matter what, no one goes off on their own understand?”

“Got it.”


End file.
